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| Treating Pornography Addiction |
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Relationship HelpDo you need relationship help because you
or a loved one is involved in pornography? Porn addiction is on the rise and is
threatening many relationships, even relationships that were once healthy. As a
professional therapist, I have met with many couples who struggle in their
dealing with each other due to the distance that pornography has brought between
them. This page offers ideas and suggestions that will provide you ideas of
where to get some relationship help.
Step #1: Assess Your RelationshipBefore blaming all of your
relationship problems on pornography it is important to assess many areas of
your relationship (communication patterns, conflict resolution, abusive
behaviors, and other addictive behaviors). For example, if you and your partner
are having a hard time in these areas, pornography may be what you or your
partner turns to for comfort.
If you would like to assess your relationship in over 20 key
relationship areas I would recommend that you take "Test Your Relationship."
This test is designed to help individuals and couples receive relationship help
by evaluating each others behaviors in a relationship. When you take this test
you will receive 75-90 pages of personalized relationship help designed to help
you understand the areas that are breaking down your relationship. With this
information you will be able to identify the areas you and your partner need to
improve on.
Step #2: Learn to Change Old Behaviors and
Unhealthy Patterns
If you and your partner are both committed to improving your
relationship, it is important that you both receive help by replacing old
behaviors with new heatlhy patterns. The individual struggling with a
pornography addiction will need to learn new strategies for overcoming a
pornography addiction. He/she may need to learn how to engage in a healthy
relationship. The spouse or partner will need to learn how to reconnect and
trust again. Learning these new behaviors requires gaining new skills and ideas.
If you really want relationship help, you will need to learn and
understand how to deal with pornography addiction. This isn't a simple process.
You have to work hard by reading books (Porn
Addiction Help) , listening to CD's (Treating
Pornography Addiction: The Essential Tools for Recovery) , and attending
groups (Support Groups). Each of these steps
will help you prepare to succeed. It has been my experience that real change
occurs when people genuinely want to learn. With learning comes excitement and
hope that life can change and be different.
Step #3: Seek Professional Relationship HelpMany people
prefer to solve problems on their own. However, if you are seeking relationship
help for a pornography addiction, it is very important to consider seeking help
from a professionally trained counselor. Counselors are trained to assess the
problem and provide solutions that can improve your relationship. Since
pornography is a part of your concerns, I would recommend that you seek help
from SASH.net or AAMFT.org These sites offer a list of
professional therapists who are trained offering relationship help to
individuals and couples. SASH.net professionals specialize in treating sexual
addiction and many work with couples and families. AAMFT.org is the home site
for the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists. Both sites have
a list of professional members who can help you.
Step #4: Take ActionEach of the steps above require you to
do something such as evaluate the problem, read books, or talk to a
professional. Once you have taken these steps, I recommend that you write down
the areas that you personally want to change.
For example, if you want relationship help to communicate better
you might make a list that looks like this:
- Focus on listening to my partner. Genuinely try to understand his/her
concerns rather the focus on the pain I feel from his pornography use.
- Try communicating my personal hurts rather than blaming, acccusing, or
attacking him.
- Learn to focus on other things rather than his pornography use so that we
can enjoy our relationship like we use to.
- Deal with my own insecurities.
The person struggling with pornography might write:
- Learn to open up and genuinely show compassion for my partner.
- Share my successes with my partner so that she can see my personal growth
and development.
- Be honest in all of my communication.
- Don't take offense when my partner is having a difficult time with my
addiction. This is something that I have used as an excuse in the past to
relapse. Remember this started as my issue and know I have made this her problem
as well. Be patient.
These are example of things you can do to take action. If you want
to learn better ways of communicating in your relationship I would recommend
that you consider purchasing Five
Sure-Fire Ways to Strengthen Your Relationships. This CD has helped many
individuals improve their relationship. Those who listen to this CD will learn
behaviors that will improve their communication skills and help them resolve
conflict.
Finally, I would recommend that you take time to review "Relationship
Help." This site has a list of products and professionals who have helped
thousands of couples who have need of relationship help.
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If you have any questions, please email us or call us at 801-226-1004. |
This article was published on Wednesday 15 November, 2006.
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